Maintaing Quality time with your kids

Are you a mother who is also a career-oriented woman? If you are, you may have number of different issues tugging at your heart. In today’s society, many mothers are fearful of putting their family first, especially in certain circumstances, in fear of losing their jobs. With that in mind, there are many mothers who are fearful that their children will grow up resenting them due to the amount of time they spent focused on work.
While being a mother and a career-oriented woman, all at the same time, may seem like an impossible task, it is a task that you can more than perform. What you need to remember, although difficult as it may be, is that you should be a mom first. However, that doesn’t mean that you should just toss your workload to the side and not care. There are a number of different ways that you can go about being a good parent, while still brining home an income. One of those ways involves spending quality time with your child or children when you are not working.
One of the best ways for you to go about spending quality time with your child or children is by creating a schedule for yourself. This schedule can be used to outline any important events that you and your child or children have planned. Although your schedule does not need to be followed right down to the letter, it is important to have one. Mothers who create schedules for themselves are more likely to follow through with their plans.

Speaking of your plans, you may be wondering what you should do to spend quality time with your child or children. Of course, it is important to keep your child’s age in mind. A child who is three years old will prefer different activities than one who is nine or ten years old. With that in mind, there are a number of different activities that many children, including those of all ages, love. A few of those activities are outlined below for your convenience.
One activity that you may want to think about doing with your child or children is taking them to the zoo. Regardless of where you live, you should have a zoo within a reasonable driving distance to your home. Zoo trips are fun and exciting, as they often last all day. What is nice about zoo trips is that they are fun and educational all at the same time. This means that your quality time can benefit your child or children in more ways than one.
Another activity that you may want to think about doing is taking your child or children to the movies. Whether your child is three years old or fifteen years old, there should be a movie playing that would likely interest them. Going to the movies is nice, as many children view it as a treat. For more affordable movie tickets, you may want to think about going to see a movie with your family during the daytime.
Additional activities that many children enjoy are those of park visits, museum visits, and sporting events. In all honestly, it really doesn’t matter what you do. To your child or children, how matter what their age, they will likely just appreciate the fact that you took some time away from work to have fun with them, no matter what the activity.

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New Motherhood Challenges - What Noone Tells You - And How to Cope

During their pregnancies, many women imagine what motherhood will be like. We envision peaceful scenes such as rocking our babies in a recliner while they effortlessly breastfeed. We imagine the things we'll do while baby sleeps the hours away. While washing and folding baby clothes and getting the baby's things ready, we daydream about our little one and how we'll care for him.

Often, we're quite unprepared for the experience of new motherhood. While having children is a blessing, the postpartum period is one of adjustment. Our expectations are often quite different from the reality. Many women experience some or many of the following challenges:

* Fussy babies - Having a colicky or fussy, "high need" infant can shatter a new mom's confidence and cause major stress. When her baby cries for hours at a time, it can put strain on her relationship with the baby's father and undermine her emotional well being. Often there is little that can be done for a fussy baby other than holding him and waiting for him to outgrow it. A baby sling can certainly be helpful. Research shows that babies cry less when they are "worn" close to the mothers body.

* Mood swings - The baby blues is a very common experience for new moms in our society, and there are many theories as to why so many moms experience this phenomenon. Contributing factors may be: the stress of such a massive life change, sleep deprivation, the physical demands of childbirth, lack of proper support, and hormonal adjustments. Certainly it is wise for a new mom to lower her expectations of herself. Getting out of the house for some socializing, exercise, and sunlight can be a huge help. Good nutrition and avoiding sugar and caffeine are also smart moves.

* Relationship difficulties - Some new moms become resentful of their partners. While a mom's life changes drastically after the birth of a new baby, a dad's life doesn't change so much. His apparent freedom can be the cause of negative feelings. Good communication skills are important here. Moms can tell their partners what they need, and affirm his place and importance in the family. Letting him care for the baby on his own to learn his own style is a good idea.

* Bonding issues - When moms read about the bonding that is so essential for baby's development, they're sometimes stressed or worried if they don't feel an instant connection with their new infants. Bonding is different for each mother/baby dyad. Some moms experience an instant feeling of deep love for their newborn infants the moment baby is put into their arms. For others, the feeling develops over time. There is no right or wrong way to bond. One thing that helps a mother develop a deep attachment to her baby is to wear him close to her body in a baby sling. The sling helps baby adjust to postpartum life gradually, leading to less crying. A happier baby means a happier mom. It's also easier for mom to get things done around the house, increasing her sense of accomplishment.

* Breastfeeding challenges - Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience, and for some mothers it comes easily. Others experience difficulties. Painful breastfeeding can increase the risk of postpartum depression, but successful breastfeeding decreases the risk. A mom who is experiencing pain should get help immediately. Often all that is needed is a slight adjustment in positioning or latch to stop the pain.

New moms need support and information to have a happier postpartum adjustment. Talking with other mothers can be extremely helpful. Thankfully there are many mother's groups that a new mom can reach out to in order to get the community she needs.

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It will change your life!

The time is nearly finish for my friend. We were sitting down having lunch when she mentioned casually that she and her husband were thinking to "Start a family" What she meant was that her biological clock is tickling, and she's been force to consider the possibility to become a mother.

"We're having a survey," she said partly joking. "In your opinion, should i have a baby?"
"It will change your life," i said carefully, keeping my tone as normal as i can.
"I know," she said. "There won't be any relaxing on weekend, there won't be a spontaneous holiday..."
But that was not what i meant at all. I looked at her, considering what will i say to her.

I wanted her to know what she may never learn in any lecture about giving birth a baby.

I wanted to tell her the physical wound caused by labor will be heal, but being a mother will make her have a bad emotional wound so that she will have a sensitive heart forever.

I thought to remind her that she will never read the newspaper again without asking "What if that happen to my child?" That every air crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she look at picture of hunger child, she will start wondering is there anything worse rather than to see her child dying.

I stared at her fingernail that has been well taken care of, her stylish dress, and i thought that no matter how sophisticated she is, being a mom will change her to the primitive extend just like a bear protecting its baby.
An urgent call "Momma...!" will caused her drop the pancake or the most divine and expensive crystal at once.

I felt that i have to remind her, no matter how many years she spent to built her career, she will slip professionally into a role of a mother. Perhaps she have someone to take care her baby, but one day when she has to attend an important business meeting, she will remember the sweet smell of her baby. She has to exploit every of her discipline strength to avoid herself running back home, just to check whether her baby is alright or not.

I wanted my best friend to realize that daily decisions won't be as routine as usual anymore. That when her 5 years old boy prefer to go to men's toilet instead of women's at McDonald, it will become a huge dilemma. There, in the middle of clinking and tinkling sound of tray and children' scream, a matter of being independent and gender distinction have to be consider against the possibility that a pedophilia maybe hiding inside the toilet. No matter how assertive she is at the office, she will live in uncertainty world as a mother.

Looking back at my dear beautiful friend, i wanted to make sure to her that in the end she will be free from pregnancy's burden, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, that now is so important, will become less valuable to her as soon as she has a child. That she will be ready to give up her life one day for the sake of saving her generation, on the other hand start to hope to live longer - not to fulfill her own dreams, but to witness her child to fulfill his/her dreams. I wanted to tell her that the cesarean mark and other shining scratched will become badges of honor.

The relationship between my friend and her husband will be change, but not in a way that she may think. I hope she understand that she will love more and more a man that able to bath and change diaper of their baby, or never hesitate to play happily with their son/daughter. I thought that she has to know that she will fall in love again with her husband for unromantic reasons that now she may feel.

I hoped my friend can feel the boundary that she will feel together with women all along history whose incessantly try to stop the war and prejudice, also prevent the people to drink and drive. I wish that she will understand how come i can think rationally about matters, but sometimes become frantic when discussing nuclear war threat toward my children' future.

I wanted to describe her the joy of watching my children learn to play baseball. I wanted her to feel the crisp laugh of a baby touching a soft dog's hair for the first time. I wanted her to feel the true happiness.

My friend's gaze revive me for the tears stemmed up in my eyes. "You will never regret it!" finally i said to her. Then i reach across the table, clutch my friend's hand, and ask her to pray to her, to me, and to all women that slip from her way to this holy convocation.

*adopted from: "Chicken soup for the Woman's Soul"

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